FOR ME

I've been struggling with the point of this blog for a while. It started as a sort of "creative" project where I would do one post a day and I wouldn't care if it was actually something interesting. I'd do random stuff like this or this or even this (aptly titled "I DUNNO").

And then I got too into trying to get followers and commenting stupid shit on a lot of blogs and my pageviews would go up but because I stopped posting stuff I didn't get followers and then I would just post things in the hopes that they were "interesting" but they really weren't and then my blog turned gross by my standards I stopped again and again.

But I decided that I still didn't know the point of my blog and I accepted it and I would get this post and this post and this one and I like these two posts. Then I would stop again.

But I liked those posts, all the ones that I linked to. Those are my favorite posts. They aren't super interesting if you aren't me going through my meager archives or if you don't know me personally (maybe...I don't know how interesting this is even if you do know me) but it's sort of kind of what direction I want to take this. The only thing that's similar with all of those posts is that I wasn't thinking about anyone else when I made them. I was bored doing whatever I was doing at that time so I decided to do something to relieve my boredom and that's what happened.

I'm going to go back to that. I'm going to restart my creative project and do one post a day, even if it isn't so hot or interesting because frankly, this is mostly for me and not for followers. 

God. Thank god I have this down because now I have a tiny bit of understanding. I just really can't wait for when I go abroad because hopefully by then I'll have a better grip on what I want to do with myself and my blog will be more and more interesting for me.