art school breakdown

Art school classes at USC are always such a trip for me. I can do business courses because I know exactly what I need to do for them and I know that I do not like them so there are no confused feelings. Art school courses on the other hand, are nothing but confused feelings. I can feel like total shit during them or feel like I am the next world artist or I can finally, finally decide I hate them (and feel really guilty because I'm supposed to love these things) or I get really inspired and have big ideas of quitting school and doing whatever I want or I just get weird. And this Online Experimentation or whatever course is high on the making me weird scale. I don't know what it is about it - maybe I really like what the professor is saying / showing us and I just don't register that emotion since the rest of my classes get no response other than 'ugh' from me. It's weird and very exhausting - like I am putting myself through this up and down turmoil for 3 hours twice a week where I can go from having a billion irrelevant ideas to feeling totally empty and like lol because half the stuff we're shown makes no sense and doesn't seem to contribute in any way other than making me very confused about what I want to do and what I like.

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